


Mission: Who Kissed the Trickster

by Awenseth



Series: AvengersKink PromptFills [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, Investigation, Sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 23:24:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awenseth/pseuds/Awenseth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor comes back to Midgard to visit his freinds and brother who was forced to stay there as punishment and of course with his magic bound is he also prone for sicknesses. When Thor finds out that his brother got something called "the kissing diseas" he imediately sets out to find the culprit due to Loki refusing to tell him which of the Avengers had kissed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mission: Who Kissed the Trickster

**Author's Note:**

> Please this was to good of an inspiration giver to leave out. 
> 
> Prompt: _**GEN - Loki gets mono, Thor interogates everyone**_
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> **As punishment, Loki is stripped of his magic and made vulnerable to Earth's ills(though nothing he wouldn't survive catching). He's to stay at the tower and is barely in contact with anyone outside the Avengers. He contracts mono and when it's explained to Thor that it's called The Kissing Disease, Thor won't rest until he knows which of his teammates has been kissing his brother.**  
> 

Loud thunder cracked on the blue sky as the Norse God of Thunder landed on the top of Stark Tower – the owner of said tower forbade any other such entrance inside the large lounge room after the explosion of the tenth TV – with his usual happy grin on his face. It had been far too long since he had visited Midgard, even if a month was not much for a god, but his friends were mortal and of course there was another ground. After the whole failed conquering quest had Odin decided to seal Loki’s magic and sent him back here to stay with Thor’s friends who were not easy to convince into accepting. Loki had been of course not pleased at all about the arrangements mind you, but either that or another three centuries with bound magic and his mouth shaven shut Lady Pepper did not look pleased when she heard about the alternative and had immediately dragged his bewildered looking brother towards the metal box which goes up and down. 

It was strange, but his brother seemed to have accepted Lady Pepper near him without much protest.

Heading down the long stairs he made his way inside the building, he would first greet his brother and after that his fellow shield brothers- and sister, he hoped that Loki did not pull all too much mischief on them.

♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓

“Friend Jarvis, where does my brother dwell at this moment?” he asked in a booming voice after having reached his brother’s floor, but not finding him anywhere.

‘ _Mr Laufeyson_ ’ Thor still scowled at Loki’s continued choice to distance himself from his family, but arguing about it would only end with the Man of Iron threatening to get Lady Darcy and ask her to teaser them ‘ _is currently in the infirmary with Sir and Dr. Banner due to him requiring assistance regards his health._ ’ This alarmed Thor, sure Loki complained that his lack of magic would make it possible for him to catch some midgardian disease, but he had laughed it of, he really should have paid attention what seidir usage and its loss mean to those who use it. 

“Thank you.” he said before rushing into the direction of the healing rooms, almost taking a few walls and the entrance door with him in the process to get as fast to his little brother’s side as possible. 

Upon entering a familiar sound hit his ears, drawing his eyes towards the bathroom where his brother kneeled, more like half-laid on the cold tile floor, his shaking hands clutching the sides of the toiled as he continued to throw up. Immediately past memories rushed to the forefront of his brain and he hurried inside the smaller room, his face cautious for he knew that if his suspicions are correct it would not spell anything good. When he was only mere steps away Loki turned to him with tired green eyes, even paler skin and sweet glistering on his face. 

“Thor…” he said in a raw voice due to the vomiting, his tone indicating that he expected another person, probably one of the other two who should be in this room with him. 

“Brother,” he ignored the scowl sent his way, he will keep calling him that because this was the truth “why this again? Was it not enough already, why did you go and get pregnant again?” he asked in a pained tone, he did not wish to see his brother again appearing with some type of beast or creature in his arms or force them to find out where he hid them from the All-Father. 

“Whoah! Wait, so the story with the horse is actually true?” come the surprised voice of Tony Stark as he eyed Loki with a mixed look of curiosity, shock, disbelief and intrigue while beside him Banner only shook his head. 

“I’m _not_ pregnant you big oaf.” Loki hissed as best as his sore throat would allow it and even if he would be, it was _him_ who would bear the child and try to keep it for as long as he could hide it away from Asgard. The memory of his previous children sent a pang through his heart, but he sealed it away, Thor who was not a parent would be unable to understand this feeling. 

“He is right Thor.” Bruce finally spoke up when it looked as if their big friend would try to protest. “I just finished with the test, vomiting, sore throat, fever, fatigue, headache, abdominal pains, slightly swollen glands, but not really noticeable if one does not try touching them” that part had been almost a fight with Hulk involvement “and also small reddish-purple spots on the roof of the mouth, this all equals mono.” he explained to a still confused Thor so Tony decided to be helpful and we know how that ends most of the time. 

“It is also called the kissing disease due to the fact that the virus can travel through saliva so if you catch it, even if you don’t get sick from it the person who you kiss will get it.” Tony said before stopping to stare curiously at Loki who was glaring at a panicked looking Thor. 

“Whom gave you this disease brother?” the blonde demanded from the other male who even if sick could bring up quite a deadly glare. 

“This is not your concernThor.” the younger growled stubbornly before feeling a new wave of nausea wash over him and force him to turn back to the toilet. 

“Then I will find it out myself who had done this to you!” Thor proclaimed before rushing outside to start his list according to position of possibility of the deed. 

When the door fell shut again and crashed from the hinges Tony looked back to Bruce and Loki, letting out a relieved sigh, his hand on the Arch-reactor on his chest. 

“At least he does not know that it can be also transferred by sex.” he told the other two at which Bruce also sighed in relief. 

“Your tower would be no more.” Loki supplied to the two nodding men before Stark needed to add.

"So what is it like with a horse?" and this was when Bruce decided to get Loki some stomach medicine and painkillers, from his own first aid box, on his own floor far away form here and if he is already by it he should get Tony an ice pack for his eye.

♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓

_Clint_

The let recollection the poor archer had before the black out and his collision with the wall was him doing some shooting in the training room before thunder cracked and something large slammed into him. He would have put his money one of the Chitauri’s leviathans or whatever slamming into him, but he was sure that at least one or two ribs were broken. The only ground he was not suspecting Loki was because no matter if he would liked it in the past two months the magic-deprived god was there he avoided most of them, the only ground you could see him on occasions not leaving a room when someone entered or even getting down from his floor was when Potts dragged him out or was also present. It was disturbing how she seemed to get along with him, but till now they could not find any ulterior motives and Tony had watched their every step, but dropped it when they reached the point of catching Loki teaching the woman Old Norse and how to read runes. 

“Thor? What the fuck?” he demanded when his vision finally cleared. 

“According to friend Banner my brother has something called the kissing disease, but he refuses to tell me who it was and his only contacts in the tower are you.” Thor growled out to the disbelieving man. 

“Yo…you, wait a moment you are accusing _me_ of KISSING LOKI!?” Clint did not believe his ears and he could not even blame his weak hearing for this. 

“My brother has wronged you strongly Archer which gives you the right to demand a price, even more as a victor of war.” Thor informed him and Clint was not sure if the pain of punching the guy in the face would not be a minor hindrance if he did it. 

“I’m not some sick fuck to demand such tings from someone.” he hissed venomously, a part of him relieved that Loki also had been not degenerated enough to take advantage of those he mindcontrolled. 

“It could have happened any way, maybe you did not realize that it was him, his shape shifting is not bound to his seidir.” Thor kept on pressing, he did not like accusing his friends for anything, but from all of them in the tower was the archer the most plausible suspect even if Lady Pepper had been the one to spend the most time with him, his brother respected estabilised relationships, probably due to Sigyn. 

“Great that you share this information with us, but no I did not kiss anyone in the past time since he is here and not even before.” He had been going sick with people assuming that with him having been Loki’s second-in-command he did not only share the commanding of their troops, informations and plans with his God, but also his bed. He would have thought after all those medical checks and forced talks with the shrinks that they would get it, but unfortunately was this not the case. 

“Are you sure about that?” Thor kept on trying, his muscled arm – luckily not the one with Mjölnir in it – was still pressing the smaller man against the wall. 

“Yes damn it Thor, I’m fucking sure!” Clint yelled before he was dropped ungraciously to the ground, coughing from the feeling of air rushing into his lungs. He was slowly, but surely developing a phobia against Norse Mythology. 

“I thank you for the cooperation.” Clint wanted to make a sarcastic comment at that, but the Thunderer was already out of the door. 

Damn, this will leave some nasty bruises on his chest now that is for sure.

♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓

_Natasha_

Natasha was busy reading the book she had gotten a few days ago, there was just something amusing about books in which the main character was a master spy and no one should think that she does not like some good humour. She was just in the middle of the paragraph describing how the spy uses his many little trinkets to create a weapon in a matter of seconds while spying on the bad guys when there was a knock on her door. From the fact that it nearly broke down she could guess who it was and made her way over to open it before it needs to get fixed. 

“Yes?” she asked the god who had a determined expression on his face.  
“Forgive my intrusions Lady Natasha, but it had recently come to my attention that my brother has contained the kissing disease and I wish to find out from whom he has gotten it.” Thor told her while Natasha put up her best blank look; somehow the thought of this sounded amusing even if she did not understand why. 

“I’m sorry Thor, but the last time I had kissed someone had been when I was merely five and even that was only on the cheek.” She answered while looking at the taller man who regarded her with an expression like that of ne trying to decide if someone way lying to them or not. She spoke the truth, but even if this would have been a lie somehow she doubted that Thor would be able to know even after all those decades spent with the God of Lies at his side. 

“I understand, thank you for your time.” 

It was only a minute since Thor left when Natasha noticed that someone was calling her on the comm. 

‘Did that living electricity tower plaster you also against the wall while feeling as if the Helicarrier hit you?’ she heard her partner ask in a testy tone. 

“No, he even knocked and waited till I opened the door.” she answered as a string of curses could be heard from the other side of the line. 

Well she will not get back to her book anytime soon it seemed more interesting to ask JARVIS to show her the camera feeds of the next interrogations, she had a good guess who would be following after her if Thor was already done with Clint.

♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓

_Tony_

 

Tony was in the middle of placing and ice-pack Bruce had given him on his right eye, a glass of skotch in his other hand. No one had warned him that no matter if half-laying by the toiled and looking like shit the God of Mischief could not only put up a effective death glare, but also still have an incredible aim. He should set him somehow up for an archery contest with Barton and take bets on who would win for he was certain that a roll of toilet paper should not send you knocked out to the bathroom floor. 

“Man of Iron, I demand to know if you had something with my brother.” Tony immediately spit his drink back into the glass and tried to get the rest out of his windpipe. 

“Excuse me? Thor I know that I’m charming and known as a playboy, but that is only looking and not touching since I’m together with Pepper. I would not risk losing her.” and this was the truth, she had been always there for him, the only woman who even if almost driven mad by him still stayed and never turned against him even after finding out about some of his secrets. 

He would be a fool to give up on such a precious person for he doubted that he would ever find another like her. 

“I see, is Dr. Banner still with my brother?” Thor asked, it was no use to ask further due to the fact that he could hear the adoration in the other man’s voice when mentioning the name of his Lady. 

“Nah, Reindeer Games got back to his floor and laid down after getting some painkillers and before that knocking me out with a roll of toilet paper, at least this time he did not throw me out of a window so it is only Brucie in there.” Tony answered, he would never let that one go now that was for sure. 

Thor nodded and turned to depart, he needed to investigate Dr. Banner and after that the Captain, he hoped that he would soon get his answers, if it fails he can still try getting the answers from Loki.

♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓

_Bruce_

Bruce had finished putting away the medications he had brought down from his room and closed the first aid box when the door opened. He had been expecting the interrogation and it slightly pleased him that he was so far down on the list. 

“Doctor…” Thor started, but Bruce put up his hand in a calm manner. 

“Sorry Thor, but it was not me or the Hulk, I’m er… kind of sure that he is still mad for the whole ‘ _Puny god_ ’ comment, even running the test to find out what is wrong with him had been a war with him refusing to let me near him.” he explained with a little sheepish laugh at which the other nodded, he knew how Loki tended to react to insults and being thrown around like a ragdoll and be smothered into a tile floor would only strengthen his usual reactions. 

“I thank you for your time then.” And with that he left.

♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓

_Steve_

Steve had not long ago returned from S.H.I.E.L.D. and wanted only to go to the training room, spar a bit and after that take a long shower, but when Thor stepped in front of him his plans went out of the window. He was not even sure what the other had been talking about due to the tempo, but when he finally got it was he sure that his face had gone red. 

“Yo…you want to know if…if I…” Steve was having a hard time to string his words together, it was not as if he was homophobic, he was slowly easing himself into the fact that people were a bit more open in this time for interest in the similar gender, but still. 

“I’m sorry for asking Captain, but you are the only one left on my list.” Thor said apologetically when noting the embarrassment on the other man’s face. 

“Uhuh…no problem Thor, but it was not me I’m still a bit jumpy around this type of subject.” Steve replied apologetically.

♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓

It had been four in the afternoon when Thor had gathered everyone into the living room, he had asked everyone so he needed to try getting his brother to finally tell him who it was, but Loki was only glaring at him as was Barton while winching whenever he moved.

“Seriously Thor, I told you that this is not your case how I got this awful thing.” Loki snapped as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, he wanted to get back to bed and not sit here in this room, but of course the Mighty Thor would not have any of his suggestions. Typical. 

“We are not going anywhere till I know who had given you this sickness.” Thor replied back stubbornly when the door opened and Pepper stepped inside, a concerned look on her face as she spotted Loki. 

“What sickness?” she asked before a scowl settled on her face after taking her hand away from the Trickster’s forehead. “Why are you not in bed when you are running a fever?” she demanded at which Thor looked sheepish. 

“Ask him and I have got mono.” Loki told the glaring woman. 

“I have a black eye.” Tony called from his chair, but was ignored by Pepper who raised an eyebrow. 

“How far?” she asked. 

“About two and a half-weeks according to the tests.” Bruce supplied at which Pepper let out a small gasp which made everyone lean slightly forward. 

“Could you have contained it after that party where you helped me getting everyone into bed after they had literally drunk themselves to the floor beside Steve who stayed behind to clean up?” she asked at which all the Avengers beside Thor and their mentioned leader stiffened in their seats, the memories about most of that party were completely blank in their minds. 

One of them was soo fucked. 

“Brother, is this why you don’t tell who it was?” Thor asked as everyone looked at the dark haired god who let out an annoyed huff. 

“Would not bee the first time I needed to deal with someone drunk and thus know that most are not in control of their actions or about whom they think in the middle of alcohol inducted haze. You have yourself not on one occasion mistaken me for someone else without me shifting form while I tried to shepherd you and your merry bunch out of bars unharmed. Also don’t try asking Jarvis to play down the happenings of that night because I deleted them to not allow anyone to have any type of blackmail against me.” Loki told the other with a roll of his eyes before standing up, one hand on his stomach. “Though I need to note that the nausea inducted by this sickness is nothing compared to morning sickness.” he said before rushing out to the nearest bathroom, Pepper after him to hold his hair in case he needs it before getting him back to bed. 

The others only stared at the empty chair Loki had occupied, beside Thor each of them knew that even if the files had been deleted there was a way for someone with enough skill to bring them back mostly if one was talking about deleting something JARVIS had recorded. It was kind of strange and uncomfortable for them, but Loki had just saved one of them from being made into a pancake by a hammer, beside being electrocuted. 

“So there is no way for me to know?” Thor asked while looking like a kicked puppy which made it really hard for them to just nod their heads and act as if they agreed.

It had been later that night that each of them took out their tablets or laptops and asked the AI to restore the deleted files. They had tried to just forget it, but it was really not easy if you know that you may have in your drunken state taken advantage –even if only for a kiss – of a person who had been your enemy and you still see them in a way as such, though they had decided that the moment they saw the truth in the confidence of their floor will it never be mentioned again. 

Though things are not always that easy to forget though.

♈ ♉ ♊ ♋ ♌ ♍ ♎ ♏ ♐ ♑ ♒ ♓

“Ugh…what is it with everyone today deciding to not let me rest so that this suffering can finally end?” Loki asked while burying himself deeper into the covers of his bed, he just wanted to rest for a bit and not be bothered by either Thor or the mortals living in the tower.

“I…uh…I just wanted to thank you for well…for not revealing that it was me from whom you got mono even well…even if protecting me was not your intention and well I also kind of wanted to apologize…I think, but not sure if it is appreciated or even sincere given well…our…” the babbling was slowly starting to bring back his headache so he needed to stop it. 

“As I have pointed out already, I have enough experience with drunk actions so there is noting to apologize for.” Loki said in a pained tone while his unwanted guest shifted beside his bed. 

“Uh…then well…good night Loki.”

“Night Agent Barton.” and finally he could rest and forget this day. 

Owari


End file.
